The One Hundred Dollar Dog Treat

I had the largest scare of my dog-parent life this morning!

There I was commencing my daily routine about to jump into the shower when I heard loud banging against the bathroom door. Opening it ever so slightly, I was shocked to find a crazy-eyed Tundra barrelled his way into me. He was SO HYPER. I was almost too concerned to get mad. He NEVER goes upstairs. Not only he is not allowed upstairs, he understands this and abides by the house rules. Something was out of the ordinary for sure. After endless coaxing, I managed to get him downstairs. He was shaking and panting and circling me like he hadn't seen me in days. When I went back upstairs to investigate this is what I found...

Bad dog


... plus a greeting card, and a razor cartridge... you know, as dessert.

Bad dog # 2

I freaked. A million thoughts were running through my head. Did he pierce his tongue with the needle? Was he going to be okay? What can a shot of adrenaline do to a dog? I remembered a story about a baby accidentally injecting herself and being okay, but what about dogs? Tundra was panting like crazy and being an all-around psycho. I woke up Roger. I woke up my mom. I woke up my dad. No veterinary offices were open at the time. I googled "my dog ate my Epi-Pen" and received no search results. I guess these kinds of things only happen to me? Luckily he's a big dog and the adrenaline effects dissipated quickly. I'm willing to bet his hyper-activity was escalated by the thrill of being upstairs and the anticipation of me waking up. Thanks to my rebel dog I must now purchase another Epi-Friend for myself. Pictured below is what an Epi-Pen is SUPPOSED to look like. My dad said it perfectly when he texted me tonight: "How's your druggy... I mean, doggy, doing?" Gah! First he gets into the Scotch and now this? I'm sensing a canine intervention soon...

Epi friend

Stair sitter

"What? Epi-Pens are NOT for eating?"


3 thoughts on “The One Hundred Dollar Dog Treat

  1. Gayle says:

    Thank you for posting this story. I just got home from work and saw my dog acting even more hyper than normal. Then I saw the epi-pen in pieces, on the floor. I freaked out. I’m relieved to know that your dog is ok.

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